The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.
“You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t,” he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over, picked out a pumpkin, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. “I guess I was just really into it, you know?”
Patrol officer Brenda Taylor pulled over and approached him.
“It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,” said Officer Taylor. “I walked up to (Lawrence) and he’s…just working away at this pumpkin.”
“I just went up and said”… “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?”
“He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin? Damn… is it midnight already?'”
This is a joke – Not a true story