…and the line’s too long in the ladies room.
British woman Claire Smedley almost killed her lover during sex – with her enormous breasts.
Mum-of-three Smedley, 27, who has 40LL breasts, panicked when she lifted them up while having sex and found that her lover Steven had stopped breathing.
In an exclusive video interview with the News of the World, she revealed how Steven usually loved being smothered by her breasts.
“This time, he started flailing around a bit but I assumed it was because he was so excited, so I kept going. A few minutes later I noticed he’d stopped moving,” she said.
By then, sales assistant Steven, also 27, was still and appeared to not be breathing.
“I was panicking and just about to call 999 when, thankfully, he started to come round.
“He was really woozy, like he was in a trance. Then he sort of coughed and sat up. I was so relieved,” the News of the World quoted Smedley as saying.
“I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me, but I think she misread the signals.
“The next thing I knew, she was sitting over me asking if I was all right. I must have blacked out. It was pretty hair-raising,” Steven said.
Smedley said: “After that he went off sex.”
Or…. How I Naired my ass. Or…. Gee your ass smells like raspberries.
It’s worth the read (click to enlarge)
Click to enlarge
A man was lying in bed with his new Thai wife.
After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles — something she loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, “Why do you love doing that?”
“Because,” she replied, “I miss mine.”
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it???