Dirty word of the day

CouchworthyDirty Word of the Day: Couchworthyadjective. A woman who possesses both a bountiful bust and plentiful posterior, giving her the attributes of one who is worthy of being bent over the arm of a couch for the purposes of sexual intercourse.

Ex.:

“That girl at the bar is cute, but I can’t tell if she’s couchworthy from the way she’s sitting.”

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Euphemisms for boobs

Air Bags Macaroons
Angel Cakes Magumbos
Apple Dumpling Shop Majumbas
Apples Mambos
Aspirins on an Ironing Board Mammaries
Babaloos Mammaroonies
Baby Pillows Mammoths
Balloons Mangos
Bangers Maracas
Bangles Marangos
Bassoons Marimbas
Baubles Marshmallows
Bazongas Mau Maus
Bazooms Meat Loaves
Beacons Meatballs
Bean Bags Melons
Bebops Milk Bottles
Bee Stings Milk Cans
Betty and Wilmas Milk Fountains
Betty Boops Milk Shakes
Big Boppers Milk Wagons
Bigguns Missiles
Bikini Stuffers Mogambos
Billibongs Mountains
Blinkers Muchachas
Blouse Bunnies Muffins
Bologna Bags Mulligans
Bomboostas Mushmelons
Bonbons Nancies
Bongos Nectarines
Boobies Niblets
Boozies Ninnies
Bosoms Nippers
Bottles Nippies
Bodacious Tatas Nodules
Boulders Noogies
Bouncers Nubbies
Bronskis Nugs
Bullets Oompas
Bumpers Oranges
Butterbags Orbs
Butterballs Ottomans
Cannon Balls Pair
Cans Pagodas
Cantaloupes Palookas
Carumbas Pantry Shelves
Casabas Papayas
Cha-Chas Parabolas
Charlies Party Hats
Charms Paw Patties
Cherry pies Peaches
Chesticles Peaks
Chestnuts Pears
Chi-Chis Peepers
Chimichongas Pendulums
Coconuts Pillows
Cream Pies Pink-Nosed Puppies
Cupcakes Pips
Dingers Pointer Sisters
Dinghies Pompons
Dingoes Pool Toys
Dinner Plates Potatoes
Dirigibles PT Boats
Double Whammies Pumpkins
Droopies Puppies
Dueling Banjos Quarts of Love
Dumplings Queen Jewels
Dunes Rack
Ear Muffs Rangoons
Eggplants Rib Balloons
Eyes Rib Cushions
Enchiladas Rockets
Fairy Pillows Roundies
Feeding Bottles Saggers
Flapjacks Sandbags
Flappers Satan’s Love Pillows
Flesh Bulbs Scones
Flesh Melons Scoops
Floaters Shakers
Floppers Shebas
Fog Lights Shimmies
Front Bottom Shmeebs
Fun Bags Silos
Gagas Ski Slopes
Gazingas Skin Sacks
Gazongas Smoothies
Glands Snoobs
Globes Snuggle Pups
Grapefruits Spheres
Guavas Spongecakes
Hand Warmers Spuds
Headlamps Stacks
Headlights Sweater Meat
Hills Sweet Rolls
Honeydews Swingers
Honkers Tamales
Hoohas Tatas
Hooters Teats
Hottentots Tetons
Huffies Tidbits
Humdingers Titters
Jaboos Titties
Jawbreakers Tomatoes
Jibs Tooters
Jugs Torpedoes
Jumbos Twangers
Kazongas Twin Peaks
Knobs Twofers
Knockers Umlauts
Kumquats Waldos
Lactoids Warheads
Loaves Watermelons
Loblollies Whoppers
Love Bubbles Wobblers
Love Melons Wongas
Love Muffins Yabbos
Lulus Yams
Lungs Zeppelins

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Euphemisims for masturbation

Yesterday we posted a list of Literary Euphemisms for Masturbation.  Today we’re opening it up to any masturbation euphemisms –  male or female.

    A date with Palmela Handerson
    Acting out the grapes of wrath
    Backing your fist
    Bang yourself
    Beat the beaver
    Beating my meat
    Beating the bishop
    Bop the bologna
    Choking the chicken
    Clap your clit
    Clean the bean
    Clicking the mouse
    Dating Hannie Palmer
    Diddle my skittle
    Diddling
    Donald trump firing his apprentice
    Double clicking the mouse
    Fiction friction
    Fire off some knuckle-children
    Five finger shuffle
    Flickin’ the kitten
    Flicking the bean
    Flog the dolphin
    Fucking yourself
    Getting trigger happy
    Going fishing with the man in the boat
    Going to the palm prom
    Greasin’ the gash
    Hand to gland combat
    Having a knee trembler
    Hit the slit
    Hitchhike To The Sky
    Holding your sausage hostage
    Indiana Jones finding a sweet dig
    Jacking off
    Jerkin the gerkin
    Jerking off
    Jibber jab
    Jilling off
    Let the beaver swim
    Lubing the tube
    Making it snow
    Making my girl happy
    Making stomach pancakes
    Milking the cow
    One handed baseball
    Painting the ceiling
    Pet the poodle
    Petting the kitty
    Playing air guitar naked
    Playing pocket pool
    Playing tug of war with the cyclops
    Pole dancing
    Polishing the pearl
    Pumping the keg
    Revving the engine
    Roughing up the suspect
    Rub the nub
    Rubbing one out
    Rubbing Rob Reiner
    Ruin your eyesight
    Scrach and sniff
    Scraping off the scabs
    Scratch n’ sniff
    Shake and steak
    Shuffle your Ipod
    Slam the clam
    Slapping the salami
    Slicking Willie
    Spanking the monkey
    Spinnin’ a record
    Squishing the squidgie
    Stroking it
    Stroking the one-eyed snake
    Taking care of my business
    Tapping the wookie on the head
    Thinking of your mom
    Tick the taco
    Tickle your pickle
    Turning Japanese
    Two-finger tango
    Visit from the five-fingered aunty
    Visiting Rosy Palms and her five sisters
    Walking the dog
    Wax on, whack off
    Whippin off a batch
    Wrestling the one eyed monster

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A-B-C’s of sex

A is for Anal, in the back door;
B is for Bottom, fucked red-raw.
C is for Cunt, tight and new;
D is for Dick, ready to screw.
E is for Enter, front or behind;
F is for Fuck, a nice long grind.
G is for Grope, a stolen feel;
H is for Horn, that’ll make her squeal.
I is for In, right up to the top;
J is for Jism, dripping with slop.
K is for Kiss, a man or a miss;
L is for Labia, I’m longing to kiss.
M is for Minge, what an ace place;
N is for Nuts, to slap in her face.
O is for Oral, make her mouth full;
P is for Penis, and for a Pull.
Q is for Quim, push it right in;
R is for Roger, and even a Rim.
S is for Shit, and also for Stool;
T is for Titties, a Toss or a Tool.
U is for Udders, full and round;
V is for Virgin, never to be found.
W is for Willy, longing to be sated;
X is for X-rated, let’s get mated.
Y is for Yelp, when you spank;
Z is for Zoo, where the monkeys are frank and show you six ways of having a wank.

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