Sex With Watermelons Certified to Be 100% Safe

Gallegher_melonIt’s a great day for grotesque, socially inept men who need a sexual release using something other than their hand.  The American Medical Safety Board (AMSB) released findings today that prove that having sex with a very watermelon will likely be sexed up tonight watermelon is perfectly safe and it can be assumed that thousands of watermelons will be punished tonight.

Gallagher is known for pounding melons in more way than one.”We couldn’t be happier,” declared comedian Gallagher, who is the world’s leading expert on the fruit. “Watermelons have always held a special place in my heart.  But for years, I feared that my aggressive sexual behaviour would eventually lead to a severe injury.  I truly feel blessed today.”

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