Chinese Doctor vs Australian Doctor

  While in HongKong, an Australian man was very sexually promiscuous and did not use a condom at all.

A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he woke one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots. Horrified, he immediately went to see a doctor.  The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, ‘I’ve got bad news for you – you’ve contracted the HongKong Dong, a rare VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.’

The man looked a little perplexed and said: ‘Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.’

The doctor answered: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.’

The man screamed in horror, ‘Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.’

The doctor replied: ‘Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.’

The next day the man found a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’d know more about the disease.  The Chinese doctor examined his penis and proclaimed, ‘Ah, yes, HongKong Dong. Very rare disease.’

The guy said to the doctor, ‘Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My Australian doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!’

The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed. ‘Stupid Australian doctor, always want to operate. Cut. Cut. Cut. Make more money that way. No need to operate!’

‘Oh, Thank God!’ the man replied.

‘Yes,’ says the Chinese doctor, ‘You no worry! Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself!’

Thanks Gene

 

2 thoughts on “Chinese Doctor vs Australian Doctor”

  1. A guy goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. My penis is orange.” Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy’s penis isn’t orange. Doc tells the guy, “This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person’s life.”

    Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, “How are things going at work?” The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, “No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I’m getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy.” So the doc figures this isn’t the reason.

    He asks the guy, “How’s your home life?” The guy says, “Well, I got divorced about eight months ago.” The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, “No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch.” So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.

    He inquires, “Do you have any hobbies or a social life?” The guy replies, “No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos.”

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