Ugly… and stupid

A guy starting a new job was told by his boss: ‘Marry my daughter and I’ll make you a partner in the firm, give you an expense account, a Mercedes, and a million-dollar salary.’
Naturally suspicious, the guy asked: ‘What’s wrong with her?’
The boss showed him

picture of the daughter and she was truly hideous. ‘It’s only fair to tell you,’ added the boss, ‘she’s not only ugly, she’s stupid too.’

‘No way,’ said the guy. ‘I don’t care what you offer me – it won’t be enough to make me marry her.’

‘Listen,’ persisted the boss. ‘I’ll give you an annual salary of $5 million and build you a mansion on Long Island.’

This was tempting. So the guy accepted, figuring that he could always put a bag over her head during sex. And they duly got married.

Twelve months later, the guy was in the process of hanging a Picasso original on the wall of their new mansion. Climbing the ladder, he called to his wife: ‘Bring me a hammer.’

She mumbled to herself, ‘Get the hammer, get the hammer,’ and handed him the hammer.

‘Fetch me some nails,’ he added.

She mumbled to herself, ‘Get the nails, get the nails,’ and fetched the nails.
As he hammered the nail into the wall, he accidentally hit his thumb. ‘Fuck!’ he yelled.

She mumbled to herself: ‘Get the bag, get the bag.’

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