Two of everything…

After finishing his round of golf, Roger headed straight for the bar where he bumped into his friend Barney. Looking down at Roger’s trousers, Barney asked him: ‘Why are your trousers so wet at the front?’

Roger called him to one side and explained quietly: ‘Today is the first time I’ve played golf wearing bifocals. Throughout my round, I could see two sizes for everything. There was a big club and a little club, a big ball and a little ball, and so on. So I hit the little ball with the big club, and it worked great. And when I got to the green, I putted the little ball into the big cup. I played the best golf of my life.’

‘I understand all that,’ said Barney, ‘but how did you get so wet?’

‘Well,’ said Roger, ‘when I got to the 15th, I was desperate for a pee. I knew I couldn’t wait until I got back to the clubhouse. So I sneaked into the woods and unzipped my fly. When I looked down there were two of them – a big one and a little one. Well, I knew the big one wasn’t mine, so I put it back.’