My New Neighbor

My neighborShe’s single…
She lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my family room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.
She knocked on my door…
I rushed to open it.
She looks at me, and says, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!
Are you busy tonight?”
I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free… I have no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?”

Thanks Gene



Mutual Orgasm

Sadie and Esther, two elderly widows, are sitting in a Catskill hotel lobby, people-watching.

“You know,” says Sadie, “I’ve been reading this “Sex and Marriage” book and all they talk about is mutual orgasm. Mutual orgasm here, mutual orgasm there, that’s all they talk about.  Tell me, Esther, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual orgasm?”

“No,” says Esther, “I think we had Allstate.”

Thanks KLAW