Baby’s first exam

Baby_007A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.

“Breast fed,” she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered. She did.

He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while, in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”

I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.”



Afternoon sex

The only way for The Andersons to pull off a Sunday afternoon ‘quickie’ with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

  • ‘There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,’ he shouted.

  • ‘An ambulance just drove by!’

  • ‘Looks like the Jones’ have company,’ he called out.

  • ‘Matt’s riding a new bike!’

  • ‘Looks like the Sanders are moving!’

  • ‘Jason is on his skate board!’

After a few moments he announced….

The Coopers are screwing!!

Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, ‘How do you know they’re screwing?’

‘Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.’