The consultation

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and maybe determine what the problem is.

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor’s office. The doctor asks her what’s wrong, why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband?

“Oh, that’s easily explained. For the past six months,” the wife says, “I’ve been taking a cab to work every morning. I don’t have any money. The cab driver asks me, ‘Are you going to pay today, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.”

“Then, when I get to work,” she continues, “I’m late, so the boss asks me, ‘Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.”

“I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, ‘So, are you going to pay this time, or what?’ Again, I take an ‘or what’. So you see, doc, by the time I get home I’m all tired out and don’t want it anymore.”

“Yes, I see,” replies the doctor.

“So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?”

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Three roses

3 roses3 roses3 rosesA sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size
because they were too  loose and floppy.  Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be
kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she  found 3 roses carefully placed beside her
on the bed.  Outraged,  she immediately calls  in the doctor. 

‘I thought I asked you not to tell  anyone about my  operation!’

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was
from him: ‘I felt sad  because you went through  this all by yourself.’

‘The second rose is from my nurse.  She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she
had had the same procedure done some time ago.’

‘And what about the third rose ?’ she asked.

‘That’s from a man upstairs in the burns unit.  He wanted to thank you for His new ears.’

Thanks Bella
 

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Woman with largest breasts fights for life

Sheyla-hershey

Infidel in 24 hour prayer session…

A MODEL with the world’s largest breasts is fighting for her life after suffering complications following her latest surgery.

Brazilian Sheyla Hershey, who lives in Houston, Texas, contracted a severe staph infection following her most recent breast augmentation procedure in June, myFOXhouston.com reported today.

The infection reached both of Ms Hershey’s breasts.

Doctors took the 30-year-old into surgery Tuesday morning (local time) to remove the implants, and possibly her own breasts.

The model has had more than 30 surgeries to date.

The rest of the story   

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A cop’s appendix

Adhesive tapeA motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.  The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
 
   However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
  
   Worried  that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
  
   Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily— if at  all.
 
   Written  in large black letters was the sentence:  ‘Get well soon…..from the nurse in the Corvette you pulled over last  week.’
  
   Kinda brings tears to your eyes doesn’t it?

Thanks Gene

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